Thursday, April 10, 2008

Jimmy Carter: Meet The Condi Rice Extreme Workout


pictured at left: Carter Secretary of State, Cy Vance

My secretary of state can beat up your foreign minister or Do Republican women read fitness magazines?

The news that Jimmy "I'll Submit" Carter has scheduled a sit-down with Hamas (Carter to Meet Hamas Leader: Jazeera) reminds one of the whole difference in tone between the Carter years and the Bush years.
"Former U.S. President Jimmy Carter plans to meet Hamas leader Khaled Meshaal in Syria next week, despite U.S. efforts to isolate the Islamist Palestinian group, Al Jazeera television said. Carter served one term between 1977 and 1981."

There were many reasons Carter was an unlamented one-termer, but one stands out: his thankfully now-forgotten foreign policy, led by Secretary of State Cyrus Vance. Carter and Company claimed it was a "human rights-oriented agenda".

The rest of the world quickly translated that to mean something completely different, although there is some argument over whether it was "putz" or "pussy".

Now, we always had a soft spot for native West Virginian Cyrus Vance, but whether it was working out on America's enemies or just working out, he was no Condi Rice.

Darren Garnick, of the Boston Herald (and his own Darren Garnick's Media Lab blog) takes it from here:
By now, surely you’ve heard that Condi Rice starts her “No Excuses” workout routine at 4:30 a.m. in the State Department gym. For a deep analysis on how this affects you, check out my Boston Herald column, “My secretary of state can beat up your foreign minister.”.

As Darren put it:
Condi’s hours on the treadmill watching SportsCenter have produced enviable results. She’s much buffer than her pudgy predecessor, Colin Powell. And Clinton’s people? Please. Madeleine Albright and Warren Christopher always looked like they were picked last in sixth-grade gym class.

But just how tough is Rice?


But as menacing as Secretary Rice looks on the bench press, she’s unlikely to ever intimidate Russia’s Vladimir Putin. Remember when he posed shirtless last summer during a Siberian fishing trip? Let’s just say he’s Ivan Drago, the steroids-loving blond boxer in “Rocky IV.” Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama should rethink those comparisons they’ve been making to Rocky Balboa [trailer]. Based on his pin-up, it looks like Putin could pummel a Democratic tag team and McCain in the ring.

Maybe Rice would be the underdog in a Putin-Rice cage match, but the smart money would have been on Condi in a Boris Yeltsin-Rice 10K run--especially if she could've negotiated a few toasts for the pre-race ceremonies.

But Darren noticed something about how Rice's workouts were covered.

Read the rest of Condi Rice-Cyrus Vance Foreign Policy Cage Match at DBKP.com.


by Mondoreb
Sources:
* Condi Rice-Cyrus Vance Foreign Policy Cage Match
* un
* My secretary of state can beat your foreign minister
* Do Republican women read fitness magazines?

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