Freedom Fighters Interrupt White House Turkey Photo Op
The scene: the White House.
The time: immediately before President Obama conducts the annual pardoning of the Thanksgiving turkey. A tradition that's 60-years-old.
Armed fighters from the Turkeys United For Freedom (TUFF) crash the photo op! Taken by surprise, the Secret Service agents are no match for these motivated, well-armed turkeys. They free their brother from what TUFF has called, "a White House show trial".
Our plucky president is concerned.
President Obama quickly goes in front of the still-rolling TV cameras to address a shaken nation.
"Good afternoon. I'd like to give a shout out to the Indians who helped the Pilgrims almost 300 years ago. Without their help, I don't see how it's possible that I would be here today speaking to you.
I want to tell you all that I'm unhurt. I also want to assure the nation that we will not rest until these perpetrators are brought to justice. I would caution everyone not to jump to any conclusions.
But Karl Rove did this."
The former Bush chief-of-staff was quickly rounded up. But Rove had an airtight alibi: at the time of the "Turkey Incident", he'd been stealing money from poor people and promoting fascism.
And he had witnesses: hundreds of liberal bloggers had already written about it.
Now, the president was really concerned.
President Obama tried to convince his advisors that he need 6-8 months to make another decision on this matter.
Then David Axelrod bravely stepped up.
"I'm afraid that the American public demands that you act now, Mr. President. I've talked with the Mainstream Press and we know who's responsible."
"We think Sarah Palin is guilty.
I'd advise you capture her immediately before anything else happens."
Police across the country searched the most likely places first.
The search intensified to other likely locations the suspect might be found.
Within hours, Tea Party protesters had mobilized in Palin's defense.
They found an unlikely ally: PETA joined the battle.
But the moose lobby came out squarely behind the President.
"We've always known that Sarah Palin is a clear and present danger."
TUFF issued a provocative statement.
"Turkeys will not rest unless amends are made for the senseless Thanksgiving slaughter.
We await the President's reply."
In the end, President Obama found the proper solution.
Sarah Palin was exonerated. The tea party protesters went home.
PETA was pleased. TUFF was appeased.
And the President didn't miss a beat.
Thanksgiving 2009 was a holiday everyone would remember!
by Mondo Frazier
#7 - seattletimes.nwsource.com
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