Idiots of the Week: December 1, 2008

Top Idiots Of The Week
Nancy Morgan
RightBias.com
November 19, 2008

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AND THE WINNERS ARE:

The winner of this week's Idiot Award is the genius who decided to rename New York City's Triborough Bridge in honor Robert F. Kennedy. For those of you under 35 and/or recent graduates of government schools who don't see the irony in naming a bridge after a Kennedy, just google 'Chappaquidick'.

In a close second we have the student counselors at Ottawa's Carlton University. These yahoos voted to cancel a cystic fibrosis fundraiser because the disease “has been recently revealed to only affect white people, and primarily men”. Apparently the disease wasn't 'inclusive' enough. Translation: Your life isn't worth anything unless you're a member of a politically correct victim group. Here's hoping these kids don't pro-create.

RUNNER-UP:

The 'sanitation experts' who marked World Toilet Day by calling for the end of the flush toilet in order to save water and provide fertilizer for crops. I kid you not.


HONORABLE MENTION:

Politically correct NHS bosses in Birmingham, England are battling to ban a smoking room for terminally ill patients – forcing them to be turfed out into the cold to enjoy their final cigarettes.

Millionaire and NBA superstar Gilbert Arenas decided to show his support for President-elect Barack Obama by getting a political tattoo on his left hand. Ain't it cute?

He's not alone...A brothel in Europe offered free entry to anyone who had the brothel's name tattooed on their arm. To date, 40 idiots have taken them up on their offer.

A woman is divorcing her husband after he told her it was an "iPhone glitch" that sent pictures of his genitals to another woman. Inquiring minds want to know if he plans to sue.

A group of idiots has started a petition to get pole dancing into the Olympic games.

MOST STUPID CRIMINALS:

You might wonder what this picture depicts... Its an ATM machine with an idiot under it. A thief pried an ATM loose from a Leavenworth credit union by using a stolen skid loader. Then — in an alleged effort to bust open the boosted ATM — the 49-year-old idiot decided to use the skid loader to drop the machine down a 50-foot wooded embankment. “It makes it easier when you let go of it. That way you don’t go with it,” said Leavenworth Police Chief Patrick Kitchens.

A 21-year-old man was accused of driving drunk and leading police on a chase that finally ended with him running over himself.

A pair of 17-year-olds allegedly try to rob armed off-duty Dona Ana deputy at knife point in Las Cruses. Oops!

Last, but not least, we have a police chief in Southwestern Ohio. As he was giving his daughter a lesson in gun safety, he accidentally shot himself in his thigh. Moral of the story: make sure gun is unloaded before giving lessons.

MOST IDIOTIC STATEMENTS:

The chairman of the British Lap Dancing Association, speaking at a legislative hearing Tuesday, made an odd assertion, given his livelihood — a lap dance is "not sexually stimulating".

A lawyer representing a man arrested in Fairfield for drunken driving says the state’s breathalyzers discriminate against black people. Racist machines?

MOST IDIOTIC STATEMENTS BY ELECTED OFFICIALS:

While arguing in favor of legislation requiring that anyone report a lost or stolen firearm report that within 24 hours or potentially face a $500 fine, Pittsburgh Councilwoman Tonya Payne said, "Who really cares about it being constitutional?"

Tonya is joined by U.S. Rep. Jim Moran (D-Va.) who, with a straight face, praised the idea of wealth redistribution and maligned the idea that people who create wealth should be entitled to keep it. Can you spell socialism?


Anyone can be stupid but it takes real effort to be an idiot. Feel free to send in contenders for next week's Idiot Awards. Meanwhile, keep smiling.

[For an animation that will make you smile, click Idiots of the Week. Hint: it involves Hillary.
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by Nancy Morgan
Right Bias.com

Idiot Awards may be reprinted, with attribution to RightBias.com

Idiots of the Week: Winners, November 19 2008

Top Idiots Of The Week
Nancy Morgan
RightBias.com
November 19, 2008

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Statue-tory Rape?

And The Winner Is:



In a historic first, the winner of this week's Top Idiot Award is an animal. In a clear case of statue-tory rape, this moose obviously confused life and art. He got away with this indiscretion after issuing a public apology and agreeing to attend sensitivity training. Personally, I think he got off easy because he was a FOB. (friend of Bill:)

Runner-Up:

13 year-old German schoolboy, Dennis Bueller comes in a close second. He learned the hard way that one should never play with a cigarette ligher on the toilet - especially after spraying the room with air freshener.

Honorable Mention:

A husband and wife had a suicide pact. The husband backed out. His wife didn't. Her body was then left hanging in their house for eight weeks. I guess he just got used to her hanging around.

Two drunk drivers crashed into each other. Who says there's no justice?

PETA makes our list once again. They're planning to stage a nude protest to discourage locals from attending an upcoming Ringling Brothers Circus show at the Houma-Terrebonne Civic Center. Hey, it would discourage me...

Caution: Idiots are not just stupid - they're dangerous too. A father was drinking double shots of vodka while cleaning his gun. Oops, he accidentaly shot to death his 6 year-old daughter.



Most Idiotic Statements:

Chris Matthews on Obama: "You can't make fun of this guy. He's clean as a whistle"

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenneger actually blamed California's wildfires on global warming. Huh?

NBC's Meredith Viera helped kick off Green Week by stating that "oceans could rise by 200 feet."

Fox News anchor Shepard Smith actually called suggestions of bias towards Obama in the mainstream media "preposterous". Ah, Shep...




Group Idiots:

First place, hands down, goes to the idiotic bureaucrats in Attleboro, Mass. In a letter they paid 42 cents to mail, city officials warned they'll place a lien on a blind 74-year-old's house unless she coughs up a penny by Dec. 10. Aargh.

Tied for first place are these 12 Obama voters. They actually allowed themselves to be videotaped after the election. Their scary, absolute ignorance of our political system is now captured for all eternity.

In a close second are the 7 out of 10 people who actually believe Obama can fix the economy.

Honorable Mention:

More bureaucrats, this time in England: School bureaucrats decided that children as young as five will now have the legal right to tell teachers how they should be taught and disciplined for bad behavior.

Speaking of schools: School officials in a tiny Vermont elementary school win honorable mention. They have blocked the pledge of allegiance from classrooms amid concerns that it holds nonparticipating children up to scorn.

So many idiots, so little space.

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by Nancy Morgan
Right Bias.com



RightBias Idiot Awards may be reprinted, with attribution to RightBias.com