Larry Craig: Attorneys Will Argue Foot-Tapping is "Free Speech"

Senator Larry Craig's attorney's will argue that his foot-tapping and hand gestures under an airport bathroom stall is nothing more than free speech, protected by the Bill of Rights. Thus, Craig will attempt to take his place beside John Peter Zenger, Martin Luther King and others in the pantheon of American heroes who fought for First Amendment rights.

More on the wide-stanced crusader from the Star Tribune:

Idaho Sen. Larry Craig will argue before an appeals court that Minnesota's disorderly conduct law is unconstitutional as it applies to his conviction in a bathroom sex sting, according to a new court filing.

This is the first time Craig's attorneys have raised that issue. However, an earlier friend-of-the-court filing by the American Civil Liberties Union argued that Craig's foot-tapping and hand gesture under a stall divider at the Minneapolis airport are protected by the First Amendment.

Craig has been trying to withdraw his guilty plea to disorderly conduct. A judge turned him down earlier this month, and now Craig is taking his request to the state Court of Appeals. The Republican at one point said he would resign but now says he will finish his term, in January 2009.

The Larry Craig saga continues. Across the land eyes threaten to roll right out of the socket, onto the floor, past Boise and onto Malibu, where they'll seek some rest and relaxation from this ridiculous story of "Larry Craig--Real American Patriot".

by Mondoreb & Little Baby Ginn



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Limbaugh, Craig & The Left:Fighting the "Phony" MediaWars on the Liberal's Terms

by Mondoreb

"Occupy such [high] terrain first and wait for the enemy to come."

In The Art of War, Sun Tzu, the famed Chinese general, had many things to say about fighting on enemy terrain. Conservatives in general would do well to pay heed to the good general's advice.

Iran is on the verge of acquiring nuclear weapons, with the professed aim of wiping the only democratic country in the Middle East off the face of the earth. The number of would-be assassins stopped with pipe bombs, instructions for making bombs, or issuing 'how-to' videos showing the construction of bombs, makes one think he is in Gaza instead of Miami.

September provided an almost unbroken parade of encouraging news concerning the fortunes of war in Iraq. So let's take a look at the latest non-stories the media and the Left wanted to talk about.

Rush Limbaugh and "phony" Soldiers. Take one popular conservative talk show host. Add a Hillary Clinton-spawned PR firm masquerading as a 'media watchdog', a dash of Rush saying the phrase "phony" and a 55-gallon drum of 'outraged Liberal' soundbites from the usual suspects. Stir. And stir. And stir.

Limbaugh played transcripts of the on-air conversation in question refuting the Liberal Big Lie, but let it be said: there is no live tape the Left can't spin into an outrageous Kodak Moment. Hopefully Limbaugh, ever the entrepreneur, will look at all this as a case of "I don't care what the newspapers say about me as long as they spell my name right."

The Larry Craig Show. It's hard to deny that Craig, the hapless Senate wide-stanced bathroom foot-tapper, was great comic relief. The endless "Craig Watch" clocks, faux-outrage pieces and non-stop coverage of "Will-he-resign-won't-he?", was understandable on the Left. But the Conservative ink and pixels--in this case Michelle Malkin--devoted to this sad simpering man were baffling. If he were a Democrat, there'd be a non-binding resolution already on the Senate floor praising the Idaho Stall Stalker for his "courage" and condemning the "hypocrisy" of any Republicans even thinking to raise an issue.

There were other examples, all equally inane, the Bill O'Reilly "racist restauranteur" remark from Hillary Matters the most glaring. Liberal Democrats know they've kept bad cards: on any issue important to the U.S. and American interests, they've insisted on playing a losing hand. It's not hard to believe they'd resort to the top two options in their limited play book of ideas: 'change the subject' and 'don't answer opponents, smear them'.

What's puzzling is the conservative position of spending time answering this pettifoggery. Hammer on ideas. Point out the ridiculousness of losing Liberal Leftcant. Remember Sun Tzu. Set up camp on high ground. It's a winner.




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Larry Craig: THE CRAIVAN

by PAT

On the surface, Larry Craig and Edgar Allan Poe don't have much in common: Poe was a drunken, struggling writer, Craig is a US Senator; Poe married his 13-year-old cousin, Craig is for family values; Poe had an encounter with poet Sarah Ellen Whitman in Maryland, Craig had an encounter with an undercover cop in a public restroom.

But, PAT saw the connection.

He saw the link between the two.

So without further fanfare here is PAT's rendition of

"The Craiven."


Once upon a midflight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious newspaper of liberal lore,
While I strained, nearly crapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my bathroom floor.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my bathroom floor -
Only this, and nothing more.'


Ah, distinctly I remember it was approaching September,
And I was stuck the St. Paul Airport staring at the bathroom floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From from the Star-Tribune, some bit of truth from this liberal bore -
Before anger rattled me to my very core -
Stuck here for evermore.

And the sad uncertain rustling in the adjoining stalls
Chilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my
heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my bathroom door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my bathroom door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was crapping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my bathroom floor,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
And my eyes opened as never before.

Deep into public restroom peering, long I stood there wondering,
fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken were "Pucker up",
This I is queried in no uncertain words, What the fuck?'
And slamming the door, merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber reeling,
all my soul within me seething,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my shoe ;
Let me see then what, and remove this asshole at the door -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis someone passing wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung open the door, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately Senator, half dressed, his mind in the
gutter .
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched in my bathroom door -
There in my stall was tapping,tapping, stood Larry Craig-
Announcing to the world that hence he would be known as a f*g

by: pat
image: Cox & Forkum

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