Wednesday, November 28, 2007

One More Glenn Greenwald Joke

Hey everybody! Glenn Greenwald's gonna tell another joke!

When a litigator pretends he's a journalist pretending to be a press nanny, the result is usually another Glenn Greenwald joke pretending to be a column.

Only a former litigator could manage to make the claims that Glenn Greenwald does without his body twisting into spasmodic fits of laughter.

In "Bad Stenographers", Greenwald reaches the correct conclusion that most mainstream hacks are little better than stenographers.

If only.

Greenwald proceeds to tell us what he thinks a journalist should do, ought to do, doesn't do, whatever.

One example:
I worked for years with highly professional stenographers in hundreds of depositions and court proceedings. Their defining trait is that they have a fierce devotion to transcribing accurately everything that is said and doing nothing else. It's not uncommon for lawyers, in the heat of some dispute, to attempt to recruit the stenographer into the controversy in order to say who is right.
Say, sounds like what reporters used to do.

Back in the day--before journalists got the bright idea that someone elected them to make policy--reporters/journalists used to record the facts and what was said: without trying to resolve the "good guy" or "bad guy" issue for the reader.

Greenwald then takes the press to task the few times they slip up.
Stenographers will never do that [say who is right]. They will emphasize that they are only there to write down what is said, not to resolve disputes or say what actually happened -- exactly like Time Magazine and most of our press corps. If someone in a court proceeding voices even the most blatantly false accusations, stenographers will faithfully write it down and publish it without comment -- exactly like Time Magazine and most of our press corps, at least when it comes to claims from the government and its GOP operatives.

"Greenwald said what? The press are Bush robots??

So the Washington press is nothing more than a herd of Bush poodles.

Journalist n. A person who collects and edits news for the public.

Sound familiar?

I didn't think so.

It doesn't sound familiar to Greenwald either.

After wading through the rest of the piece (with a short nap in the middle), the former litigator has completely convinced the reader of his case for liberal media bias--all the while swearing it doesn't exist.

Not content with completely disgusting anyone who believed the Journalism 101 teacher about a "disinterested press", he inserts this howler. Probably to check to see if anyone was still awake.
As Eric Alterman documented before most people were pointing it out, the greatest myth in our political culture is the Rush-Limbaugh-generated complaint about the "liberal media."
Greenwald even writes the phrase "liberal media myth".
Did he say "liberal media myth"?? Stop it! You're killing me!

Long before Limbaugh settled into his popular show, complaints of bias on the network newscasts began, people switched off their sets and network ratings began their slide down. Greenwald argues that Limbaugh manages some kind of mass hypnosis/mind control to plant this outrageous voo-doo idea of "liberal media bias" in the public's imagination.

Limbaugh is an evil genius. With the powers he possesses, he should quit his radio show and take over the world.

Then maybe he'd use his power to save us from former litigators masquerading as journalists masquerading as concerned press nannies.
Glenn, will you be my nanny?

by Mondoreb

Bad Stenographers


Death by 1000 Papercuts Front Page.

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