by Little Baby Ginn
The Border Patrol issued a warning today to be on the lookout for a new type of IED, the Exploding Burrito. “It’s being used as a car bomb by a group known as the Mexican Taliban,” said one agent who spoke “off the record.” “The Mexican Taliban issued a “Jihad” here in the United States against fast food Mexican style.
“The Exploding Burrito is being used in this jihad as a new terrorist weapon,” said another anonymous source. “It’s a form of home grown terrorism, a.k.a., the pinto bean.”
Another source, a man who is a member of the Frijole Jihad spoke to us behind Rosa’s Cantina. “Just because I like Tom Cruise doesn’t mean I’m a homosexual,” he said behind his dark glasses. “I have a crush on Kate Moss and Britney Spears. I’ve been a member of the Mexican Taliban since I was fifteen.” He took a sip from a bottle of Hornitos Tequila. “You must excuse me, I just broke off a love relationship.” He lit up a marijuana cigarette. “The Mexican Taliban is upset over the fake food being served up as “authentic Mexican.” “You see these,” he said as he held out a hand full of pills. “These are Viagra, you can get them a lot cheaper on my side of the border. I’m also a fan of David Beckham but not that skinny woman he’s married to. I’m against the war in Iraq and if I had a new carburetor for my 82 Olds I’d find a way to go to the next IAEA Summit because I care about the world, man.”
He took a long drag off the marijuana cigarette. “America destroyed Hitler and the Nazis but America is no match for the Mexican Taliban and our weapons of Mass Destruction. That’s unless we run out of pinto beans.”
The Perfect Google Search Story Contest
[Another DBKP Shameless Attempt to use all of the Top Google Search terms in one story: love, botox, burrito, hang-over, Tom Cruise, marijuana, car bomb. Think you can you do better? Make an attempt to construct The Perfect Google Search story. Send your entry to: Mondoreb@gmail.com. Prizes, if any, announced along with the winner when we feel like it or until we get deluged with entries. Mark subject line of email "Perfect Google Search story".]
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