DBKP, in order to keep the public properly informed, scans many dozens of articles, papers, and news referrals a day. As such, we here at DBKP are in a particularly good position to note patterns. And an interesting pattern has emerged: the English media are obsessed with Boobs.
No, not idiots.
Boobs as in breasts.
Yes! Another Boobs story!
Everyone, I would guess, is aware of the English tabloids "Page Three" girls. These are partially nude women within the papers, designed to attract male customers who do not wish to read, but whose vision is normal. It must work because the models are paid well and the Tabloids move off the stand. It is an approach the New York Times might try. It sure beats photo shopped pictures of Obama with a halo.
But we have noticed something else.The English newspapers, under the bare pretense of breaking news,also write about boobs . A lot. And the bigger, the better. As an example, this trio of leads in The Daily Mail, which is a very good paper, caught our attention,
Bra bust as M&S accused of 'levying tax on bigger breasts'
I've got to get this off my chest!
The treadmill test that measures the bounce in your bosomThis treasure trove of boobography was compiled from a selection of articles from a mere two weeks or so, and is representative rather than exhaustive. In other words, there is a lot more. And all articles, which are long and generally well written, are heavily pictured to help us understand the problems of women with large and very attractive busts.
--from Tax on Bigger Breasts
Speaking of a lot, that is something all the articles have in common. They seem to fixate around large breasts. Hardly a thought is given to the As and Bs of the British citizenry. Whether it be the poor attitude of bra peddlers, as in the first cited article:
"...Marks & Spencer has angered those customers with a lot of cleavage... by starting to charge extra for bigger-sized bras....
But members of a new group on the social networking site Facebook called Busts 4 Justice have stopped buying full-priced bras from the store in protest.
Its founder Beckie Williams, a 25-year-old children's writer from Brighton, said: 'It is like having a tax on bigger breasts. I hover on the brink of where the bras get more expensive so I noticed the difference in price.'I started trying to cram myself into the smaller sizes and realised that it was ridiculous..."
Shopping for bras as in the next, the full chested girls lord it over the rest in a sort of backhanded way.
All women want a big bust, don't they? You must be joking, says ERIN KELLY. Bigger busts need bigger bras, and shopping for them has always been a nightmare. And now it's more expensive, too...I take a 32G, the same bra size as the pneumatic model Jordan. My breasts just turned up, almost overnight, when I was about 13. Ever since, they have increased incrementally but constantly, like rising sea levels."
"I don't see them charging extra material for the inch-thick wedge of foam that pads the AA cups, so why should I pay more for the extra lace on my plus-size bra?"
Speaking of Erin Kelly, she is the official specialist at the Daily News. The resident Cleavologist, as it were. And she knows of what she writes.
(Erin Kelly and her 32 Gs)
So we were pleased to read that Erin would be tackliing the last story.
The treadmill test that measures the bounce in your bosom
It seems that there is an academic department called the Breast Biomechanics Team at the University of Portsmouth. And Erin decided she would see what pointers they might have for her. so...
"I was going to put my money where my mouth is and offer myself as a guinea pig to the department, taking their infamous 'treadmill test', whereby women run on a treadmill and high-tech cameras, linked to computers, measure the distance that their breasts move as they run...A treadmill stands before a backdrop of a black curtain, five cameras pointing at it. This high-tech 'bounce-o-meter' is where 50 other women have run before me, and where I'm about to go for the most unusual - and possibly humiliating - jog of my life."
"I already wish I'd never come here, but the knowledge that 50 other women, many with boobs bigger than mine - 32G since you ask - have already taken up this challenge, spurs me on. I strip to the waist and clamber onto the treadmill. The only shock absorber I'm now wearing is the gel in my trainers"
So Erin bravely tackled what is known as the Jiggleometer here at DBKP and no matter how often we called Erin refused to share any of those 5 tapes with us.
But we are confident that Erin will again take on this challenging subject. And when she does, we shall helpfully report on the same.
Oh, and , if the New York Times had any brains whatsoever, they might learn that scholarship sells papers, not rank opinion.
All images from source articles.