Nicola McLean: Miss Scotland, TV, Leeches and Boobs

Ultimate TV Reality:
Miss Scotland Vs. Boob Sucking Leeches



[ABOVE: Nicola McLean screeches as discovers a leech on her breast.]

---

What do you do, if you are Miss Scotland, and while filming a very popular 'reality' TV show have a leech attaches itself to your boob, and oh, the cameras are rolling?




Blood-sucker: Nicola plucks the leech from her chest.




Removing excess clothing--of course.




Final examination.

---

The answer to the thirsty bloodsucker?

Anything--just get this sucker off me!


by pat
images: ITV/Rex Features
Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/celebrity/article-1090044/Sucker-punishment-Nicola-gets-fright-leech-attaches-chest.html

Monster Movies: Big-Busted Babes Bumped First

Monster Movies: Why Do the Buxom Die Young?



[NOTE: This is an update of "Monster Movies: Why Do the Buxom Die Young?" first published June 8, 2008.]

I know a young movie actress. She has startling, beautiful green eyes, a great body and film credits. This young mother of three, happily married, has worked before and behind the camera for years.

But, when she is in front of the camera, her film time is short. That is because she works exclusively in the SciFi/Horror genre. Her specialty? To be killed by the monster.

She is the classic initial victim. She screams, gets mauled, and dies. Her Hollywood profile page lists her thusly: SciFi/Horror,Breasts, Butt.

Which brings us to the question every male has asked since the 1930s.

Why does the girl with the great boobs die first?



And have you noticed that the blond victims have decidedly different personalities than the brunette, buxom beauties about to die? The blonds can barely do their nails. The brunettes are a bit devious.

Both deserve to die of course--except that every male in the theatre is praying for the vicious beast to instead kill the scrawny dishwater blond with the great butt, a graduate degree of some sort, who turns out to be the heroine. You can hear the whispered, barely-audible male voices: "why her?", "I knew it", and 'I need something to eat" murmur through the post-gurgling-death scream silence.



Theories abound among the cognizant. The busty girls run slower. They cannot fit through the inconveniently-sized escape passages. Sure, they can swim on the surface, but they are poor divers.

The built ones seem more willing to strip down at the wrong time and place. They are randy.They whine too much. Big-boobed girls are more prone to falling down, and that's when the slim girls make their getaway. They hang with the wrong crowd. They shower too much and leave the doors unlocked.

Sometimes, they shower while their doors are unlocked.

There's even the conspiratorial: She rocks so much, the producer could not afford another minute.





But DBKP's LBG says this is not necessarily true.

"Who doesn't enjoy 'Invasion of the Bee Girls? In that movie, there's one falling every couple minutes. But they're not really dying. They're just changing into Bee Girl nymphos."



An expert was consulted on the Bee Girls:

The Biller goes to this mysterious California institute where they perform all sorts of sex rituals and experiments. There he meets this sensuous blonde, the one who was with the first victim when he died. She says that she and the dead guy “balled and balled and balled until he dropped dead,” to which Bill replies: “Can I take you to lunch?”

Enough of Bee Girls, let's get back to the B(-movie) girls.

These are explanations the screen writer and others have forced upon you.

We all know the real reason that the buxom die young--and early in the flick: Your date wants her dead.

Never mind that these girls, admired by every male in the theater completely show up the B-cupped heroine–whose brains are disproportionate to her bra size and who happens to be able to run, swim, and crawl through small openings with less whining. When the film starts, every SciFi/Horror fan is guessing who is going to die.

And the cheering sections can be broken down by sex.


by pat
images:
* comiccovers
* dukelabs
* hillcitycomics
* Answers.com

Page Three Girls, Boobs, U.K. Papers: British Know What Sells

A Tip for the New York Times?




DBKP, in order to keep the public properly informed, scans many dozens of articles, papers, and news referrals a day. As such, we here at DBKP are in a particularly good position to note patterns. And an interesting pattern has emerged: the English media are obsessed with Boobs.

No, not idiots.

Boobs as in breasts.

Yes! Another Boobs story!

Everyone, I would guess, is aware of the English tabloids "Page Three" girls. These are partially nude women within the papers, designed to attract male customers who do not wish to read, but whose vision is normal. It must work because the models are paid well and the Tabloids move off the stand. It is an approach the New York Times might try. It sure beats photo shopped pictures of Obama with a halo.

But we have noticed something else.The English newspapers, under the bare pretense of breaking news,also write about boobs . A lot. And the bigger, the better. As an example, this trio of leads in The Daily Mail, which is a very good paper, caught our attention,

Bra bust as M&S accused of 'levying tax on bigger breasts'
I've got to get this off my chest!


The treadmill test that measures the bounce in your bosomThis treasure trove of boobography was compiled from a selection of articles from a mere two weeks or so, and is representative rather than exhaustive. In other words, there is a lot more. And all articles, which are long and generally well written, are heavily pictured to help us understand the problems of women with large and very attractive busts.


--from Tax on Bigger Breasts


Speaking of a lot, that is something all the articles have in common. They seem to fixate around large breasts. Hardly a thought is given to the As and Bs of the British citizenry. Whether it be the poor attitude of bra peddlers, as in the first cited article:

"...Marks & Spencer has angered those customers with a lot of cleavage... by starting to charge extra for bigger-sized bras....

But members of a new group on the social networking site Facebook called Busts 4 Justice have stopped buying full-priced bras from the store in protest.

Its founder Beckie Williams, a 25-year-old children's writer from Brighton, said: 'It is like having a tax on bigger breasts. I hover on the brink of where the bras get more expensive so I noticed the difference in price.'I started trying to cram myself into the smaller sizes and realised that it was ridiculous..."

Or

Shopping for bras as in the next, the full chested girls lord it over the rest in a sort of backhanded way.

All women want a big bust, don't they? You must be joking, says ERIN KELLY. Bigger busts need bigger bras, and shopping for them has always been a nightmare. And now it's more expensive, too...I take a 32G, the same bra size as the pneumatic model Jordan. My breasts just turned up, almost overnight, when I was about 13. Ever since, they have increased incrementally but constantly, like rising sea levels."

"I don't see them charging extra material for the inch-thick wedge of foam that pads the AA cups, so why should I pay more for the extra lace on my plus-size bra?"

Heh, heh,heh.

Speaking of Erin Kelly, she is the official specialist at the Daily News. The resident Cleavologist, as it were. And she knows of what she writes.


(Erin Kelly and her 32 Gs)

So we were pleased to read that Erin would be tackliing the last story.

The treadmill test that measures the bounce in your bosom

It seems that there is an academic department called the Breast Biomechanics Team at the University of Portsmouth. And Erin decided she would see what pointers they might have for her. so...

"I was going to put my money where my mouth is and offer myself as a guinea pig to the department, taking their infamous 'treadmill test', whereby women run on a treadmill and high-tech cameras, linked to computers, measure the distance that their breasts move as they run...A treadmill stands before a backdrop of a black curtain, five cameras pointing at it. This high-tech 'bounce-o-meter' is where 50 other women have run before me, and where I'm about to go for the most unusual - and possibly humiliating - jog of my life."

"I already wish I'd never come here, but the knowledge that 50 other women, many with boobs bigger than mine - 32G since you ask - have already taken up this challenge, spurs me on. I strip to the waist and clamber onto the treadmill. The only shock absorber I'm now wearing is the gel in my trainers"

So Erin bravely tackled what is known as the Jiggleometer here at DBKP and no matter how often we called Erin refused to share any of those 5 tapes with us.

But we are confident that Erin will again take on this challenging subject. And when she does, we shall helpfully report on the same.

Oh, and , if the New York Times had any brains whatsoever, they might learn that scholarship sells papers, not rank opinion.


by pat

sources:
All images from source articles.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1034417/Bra-bust-M-amp-S-accused-levying-tax-bigger-breasts.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1038145/Ive-got-chest-Why-having-bigger-bust-better.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1038145/Ive-got-chest-Why-having-bigger-bust-better.html

Why Busty Actresses Always Die First in Monster Movies

I know a young movie actress. She has startling, beautiful green eyes, a great body and film credits. This young mother of three, happily married, has worked before and behind the camera for years.

But, when she is in front of the camera, her film time is short. That is because she works exclusively in the SciFi/Horror genre. Her specialty? To be killed by the monster.

She is the classic initial victim. She screams, gets mauled, and dies. Her Hollywood profile page lists her thusly: SciFi/Horror,Breasts, Butt.

Which brings us to the question every male has asked since the 1930s.

Why does the girl with the great boobs die first?



And have you noticed that the blond victims have decidedly different personalities than the brunette, buxom beauties about to die? The blonds can barely do their nails. The brunettes are a bit devious.

Both deserve to die of course--except that every male in the theatre is praying for the vicious beast to instead kill the scrawny dishwater blond with the great butt, a graduate degree of some sort, who turns out to be the heroine. You can hear the whispered, barely-audible male voices: "why her?", "I knew it", and 'I need something to eat" murmur through the post-gurgling-death scream silence.



Theories abound among the cognizant. The busty girls run slower. They cannot fit through the inconveniently-sized escape passages. Sure, they can swim on the surface, but they are poor divers.

The built ones seem more willing to strip down at the wrong time and place. They are randy.They whine too much. Big-boobed girls are more prone to falling down, and the slim girls make their getaway. They hang with the wrong crowd. They shower too much and leave the doors unlocked.

Even the conspiratorial: She rocks so much, the producer could not afford another minute.



These are explanations the screen writer has forced upon you. We all know the real reason that the buxom die young--and early in the flick: Your date wants her dead.


Never mind that she would show up the B-cupped heroine whose brains are disproportionate to her bra size and who happens to be able to run, swim, and crawl through small openings, with less whining.

by pat
images:
* comiccovers
* dukelabs
* hillcitycomics
* Answers.com
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