THE ONION: Clinton Blasts Obama For Slamming Edwards Jab

This story from the Onion depicts the bitter battles being waged on the Democratic campaign trail.

WASHINGTON, DC—Dissent continued to plague the 2008 presidential campaign this week, as Sen. Hillary Clinton had harsh words for Sen. Barack Obama's recent criticism of blunt remarks made by former Sen. John Edwards over what he called "petty Democratic-party infighting."

Rest of story at The Onion

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Video: Latest bin Laden Video Could be Made by DNC

by MONDOREB


The AP's Paul Haven summed up the latest Osama bin Laden video release thusly:

Osama bin Laden's latest message is a hodgepodge of anti-capitalist vitriol, impassioned Islamic evangelism and what can best be described as a twisted attempt at reconciliation: Join us, or we will kill you.

What strikes one is that Bin Laden's latest "YouTube Moment" could have been written by any of the Democratic Party candidates. Hard to tell Osama from Obama without a program. In fact, B.Hussein Obama's expressed aim to "bomb Pakistan" is cut from the same cloth as the Al-Quaida mastermind.

With a little post-editing, the video could be used as a DNC press release. And, it had none of the annoying hedging, denials, confirmations and flip-flops that accompany any of the Hillary Spin Corps clarifications: how her vote for the Iraqi War was really a vote against the war and one for affordable health care for ALL Americans.

Of course, someone from France was quick to point out

bin Laden was well aware that his reappearance on the world stage, looking fit and calm despite his years on the run, was itself a victory that went way beyond anything he actually said.

This came from Anne Giudicelli, a former French diplomat specializing in the Middle East who now runs the Paris-based consultancy Terrorisc. Leave it to the French to spin the video's pasty images of bin Laden into a glowing picture of health. In my mind, bin Laden looked only slightly more 'fit and calm' than one of those blow-up clowns kids are fond of bopping.

A homeland security advisor for President Bush had her own take:

"This is about the best he can do," Frances Fragos Townsend said about the fugitive al-Qaida leader whose terrorist network is believed to be regrouping in the lawless Pakistan-Afghanistan border region.

She went on to add,

"This is a man on a run, from a cave, who's virtually impotent other than these tapes."

Despite this easy set-up, I refuse to include at this point another joke on bin Laden's notoriously microscopic manhood. I do have standards.

Which is more than many of the usual Mainstream Media Mouthpieces can say. Typical coverage ranged from 'uncritical' at best to 'breathlessly anxious'--much like the Goth chick down the street as she's waiting for her prom date.

by Mondoreb
Sources:
* Bin Laden "Impotent"
* Bin Laden's Message: I'm still out here

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