Sarah Palin, Hillary Clinton: Men are the Bystanders Now

Roar
Suzette
Cripes! Suzette

Barack Obama was right when he said that we are the ones we've been waiting for, but it we turns out that "we" are the women. And as fast as that, the men are bystanders in the national drama and it's all about the women.

What is is about Sarah Palin that has people so agitated? I don't mean the laundry list of of the details of her God-fearing, gun-toting, social conservatism that we've all been discovering over the weekend - I mean the absolutely visceral reaction to her very presence.

It's because she doesn't seek permission and she doesn't apologize.

These are the traits that you are used to seeing in defeminized women - those who are past the reproductive years, like Golda Mier and Margaret Thatcher and those who fall into the virile female category such as Janet Reno. That bumper sticker that says "I'm Out of Estrogen And I've Got A Gun" is no joke. It's also reason that women were declared witches, hunted and executed in the most vile and extreme manner possible to imagine - the fear of that power necessitated a response equal in intensity. But to recognize the audacity of a woman's non-dependence combined with the power of a fertility requires a different mindset altogether. And America - you're not doing very well with that.

In between the outrageous rumor-mongering on the left side of the net this weekend, one commenter laid it bare and stated that he could not wrap his mind around the thought of a lactating vice president. Imagine that fear: confronting the idea of a fertile, life-producing, life-sustaining woman. We already have the power of life - it may be too much to contemplate the potential risk of relinquishing other types of power. Who knows to what uncomfortable place that might take us all. And how are we supposed to act once we get there?

It's not the men who are solely responsible for this attitude. Some of us cannot bear the anxiety of reinventing ourselves in our own image but fight to keep our comfortable and traditional place in the world - at the grace of others. Those mouthpieces who shout loudest about racism have the most to gain by perpetuating it; likewise those who express such grave concern about Palin's mothering choices and the impact her decision to seek office will have on her family have a self-preserving interest in keeping things just as they are.

The womanization - different from the feminization - of the political conversation is an awesome thing and apparently a thing to be feared for so many. Compare Palin's presence with that of Hillary Clinton. Hillary, who did what she could with what she had, rode the coattails of her husband along her own career path. I have no doubt whatsoever that she was the mastermind of his career and the success that he had was due in large part to her efforts, both private and public. But her approach to her own public career is based on being allowed to have it. She got the pity vote in NY state for her traditional reaction to the humiliation at the hands of that husband, and as I write this, she is smarting from the refusal of permission by her party to attain her lifelong goal.

This is a turning point indeed. While others were intent on staring at the their own individual impenetrable ceilings, something happened. We turned around and a woman is standing not on the threshold but is already halfway in the door and she got there without seeking permission from the doorman. So many voices raised now, not in recognition of the primal nature that got her to that point, but to remind her in the most dismissive and condescending terms that the world would really be better off if she would just politely get back to her place because no one gave her permission to be where or who she is now.

It's a message to us all, born of fear and spoken on behalf of safety for the greater pack. I will not listen.

WANT More Suzette? Try these recent offerings from Cripes! Suzette: * A Brief Break From Political Blogging Before Sarah-cuda Churns Up The Waters Tonight * "How Does My Ass Taste Now, Barry?" * Just Kidding! I Would Never Do That. * Me and Mrs. Palin

by Suzette
Source: Roar
Image: flickr

Fashion: Curious Lack of Certain Obama Pix

Fashion and Politics
One for the Monday, Two for the Show
by Suzette
Cripes! Suzette

I didn't want to have to start analyzing President Barry's wardrobe, but I see that none of you are going to do it, are you?

Let me begin by addressing the elephant in the room. Why do we never see a pants lump in pictures of the presumptive nominee? You know what I mean - the big baloney. The wonder down under. (Don't worry - I've got a million of 'em, and the campaign season has only just begun.)

Even in those photos of him splashing around in the surf in a wet bathing suit, you can't make out anything. And when he had a chance to wear those lycra biking shorts, he chose instead to put on his mom jeans. And I ask you - have you ever seen thicker fleece than those sweatpants he wears to play basketball? The worst of it is that he provokes us to look there.

Now men, I'm sorry if this is a revelation to you, but the ladies look at you there all the time.

All the time.

So we're hardly in need of inducement to do so. Yet look at the careful staging as the President of the World appeared before the masses in Germany today. The stance is reminiscent of the Blue Suede Shoes-era Elvis, the end of the tie draws the eye downwards, the pants bag out where the lump should be. And the very buzzwords from the campaign: Hope and Change. Hope and Change. I hope he changes into some slim-cut khakis before I get too old.

Donatella Versace said his suits are ill-fitted. This issue must be exactly what she's talking about because she designed a line of "stream-lined" menswear inspired by him. You can yammer all you want trying to prove that the MSM is covering up for him, but you won't convince anybody until you show photographic evidence that not once in all the millions of images of Obama is there the slightest bump. If that's not a cover-up, I don't know what is.

But don't worry - I'll be watching.

WANT more Suzette? Try these recent posts: * Are We Missing Hillary Yet? * Are We Missing Hillary Yet? * Remember, Deer, You Are Concrete And To Concrete You Shall Return

by Suzette
images: Cripes! Suzette
Source: One for the Money, Two for the Show

Obama the Next JFK? Michelle O's Enormous Feet

I Take Umbrage. Umbrage!
Fashion & Politics from Cripes! Suzette




Despite the fact that I have only a handful regular readers, my influence on the mainstream media continues. I don't know how it happens, but the MSM copies me.

And they've been doing it for quite a while.

I won't bore you ( or give them more ideas) by listing the tedious details of the many instances when it has happened, but things are at a crisis point now.

Take this (40 Years Later, Still Mocking Spiro Agnew's Trail Talk), for instance. Last week, I made a bunch of new taglines to go beneath the blog title, including the one on display now.

The thing that makes this different from previous instances is that I didn't even publish it and yet the big news outlets knew what I was thinking! So that's what it's come to: All I have to do is think of some good blog material, and boom! - the next thing I know, it's all over the news.

I can't prove anything in a legal sense, but believe you me, I'm putting a moratorium on thinking around here for a while to throw "them" off.

But big deal - you want Spiro T. Agnew? You can have Spiro T. Agnew. I'll even throw in the Agnew file I started from my forays into the Time Magazine archives and the image of his headstone from Find-A-Grave.

There's something more important we need to talk about.

Have you seen the Guardian article comparing the fashion statements of Michelle O and Cindy Lou? Ok, that's all well and good - all they do here is semi -seriously list a few points like hairdos and accessories in a boring presentation. I suppose it's all fair game. But, people - check out this Jezebel piece IN WHICH THEY INTERPRET FASHION SIGNALS BY MAKING POP CULTURE REFERENCES.

Future First Ladies Should Be Judged Solely On Fashion

Uh huh.

Now I ask you: is this not a direct poaching of my "Cankles" concept?

Don't bother answering - res ipsa loquitur!

See how I have to resort to Latin to express myself now? That should throw them off my trail for a while.

Further, I am withdrawing myself from the internet for a period of four days, starting immediately*.

I can only hope that will be a sufficient time span to let my trail go cold and I can get back to blogging without the responsibility of carrying the on-line press.

Just in case I should mysteriously disappear as punishment for this whistle-blowing, I am forced to play my trump card months ahead of its time:

Our next president is Barack Obama. Not only is he the new JFK, but Michell O is the new Jackie O. I base my prediction solely on the striking similarity in the size of their enormous feet.

You try finding an image of Jackie's feet - it's not that easy! I think she must have used a four-pronged approach to keeping the public unaware of just how colossal those things were:

1. The First Lady period: the contemporary press were in on that whole Camelot thing and never published anything unflattering to the couple. The only time you see a full body shot of JBKO from that time period is when her toes are peeping out from under an Oleg Cassini original.

2.The Post-First Lady period: She must have leveraged her close attachment to RFK and asked him to wield that Kennedy power over the media to expunge all podatric images.

3. Mrs. Onassis - feet always hidden from long-range lenses behind the deck rail of The Christina.

4. Jackie O - In that pre-Photoshop era, she used Ari's money to hire former CIA document experts to doctor all photos of her feet and crop images at the knees.

Well, it's a new day and Michelle O and her big mouth are getting a pass from the critical press, and not just her big mouth but her big feet, too. Look long and hard at this photo taken before she was anointed as the new First Lady. ( Sorry, Hill. Really, really sorry to see you go.) That was before it was decided that she's be the next First Lady. Look at the flood of photos of her since her husband's star started to rise - see any feet anywhere? No! The media protects her from harsh foot-related comments from an uncensored public.

I further predict that during the Inaugural Parade down Pennsylvania Avenue towards the White House, the Os will be riding in a car, not walking and providing and opportunity for the world to look at her feet in action.

Bookmark this page and refer back to it in the months to come. You know I'm right and now I have it on the record before the MSM tries to co-opt it. I would also like the record to show that I am the originator of the moniker "Michelle Three Feet" because each of those gunboats is 18 inches long.

* Coincidentally, that is the exact length of time that I will be gone to Florida for a professional conference.

Want to read more Suzette? Here's some recent offerings for Cripes! Suzette: Pop star Prince to have secret hip replacement: * I don't want to discuss my personal life but you know I have bad knees, don't you? Very Bad Knees. The Joys of the Martini: * I Wonder if Queen Victoria Ever Had One of These?

by Suzette
images:
* 1 - comedy
* 2,3 -Cripes! Suzette
Source: I Take Umbrage! Umbrage!




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Fashion: Dress Boutique Critique

Dress Boutique: I Am Woman
Fashion & Politics from Cripes! Suzette



When you're diving past the dress boutique, you never know what you are going to find. Consider this week's window display.

Observe the diverse offerings here: the dark maroon number on the left is created from countless tiny knife pleats in the chiffon. Swank! The extravaganza of giant bows on the one in the middle looks like it was made with Ellie May Clampett in mind.

On second thought, maybe not - I could see Ellie May in the giant shoulder bow, but Granny probably would not let her get away with that one at ground zero. But our focus here cannot be anything else except the beaded bodice on the right side of the window.

I'm guessing that the theme of this window is "I am Woman". Not content with letting the dresses speak to that fact by themselves, notice the enhancements we see here. The crystal pin in the cleavage of the dark maroon dress draws the eye from the boob crack on down.

The big bow of the ruffled dress brings attention back to the how-do-you-say Venus area. And then there's those beads.



Bosoms

I don't know quite what to make of it. Check out the pirate patches under the swags of beads. I've inspected this very closely and cannot figure out what that is about. Is it part of the bodice for modesty's sake? If so, a blinking neon sign would be more subtle.

Is it just me, or do the black triangles call attention to that very area? If the dress is meant to be worn without the patches - for they don't seem to be attached in any way - are these things added on for the sake of the dummy's dignity?

Who knows? Perhaps they were trying to prevent the public from becoming overly excited by a peek at artificial and not-too-realistic boobies. After all, there was that incident with mannequin abduction in the past. Maybe the window dresser was just trying to hold the lid on the level of allure to prevent a similar occurance in this case.

- - - - - - - - - -

A few of the comments on this June 9 2005 included the following:

I liked your original title to this post - very clever. Did you change it because you were afraid it would bring in the wackos?
--Emlighten-NewJersey | June 09, 2005 at 10:21 AM
Yes, that's exactly why I changed it. I should have learned my lesson from the time when I mentioned the *lsen Tw1ns and a bathtub in the same entry. The perv traffic was immediate and sustained. - Suzette

Boob Crack??? I shall never think of décolletage the same way again.

Posted by: Dah[Beed | June 10, 2005 at 04:44 AM

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Want to read more Suzette? You may be interested in these Cripes! Suzette offerings.

Quick Hitters:
* Aftermath of the Thursday Night Martini Club
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* Brown is the Color of Despair

by Suzette
images: cripessuzette
Source: Dress Boutique: I Am Woman


DBKP.com - Bigger, Better!.
Death by 1000 Papercuts Front Page.