Good thing the British keep a stiff upper lip. Otherwise, they'd be laughing themselves silly at their schizophenic government's policies.
Talk about mixed signals.
The multiculturally-inclined are warning Brits not to offend anyone. Meanwhile, another division of the government puts "terror signs" on buildings and stadiums and pleads with citizens to "be vigilant".
More on the latest tool in the fight against terror from the Mirror's
Public Buildings Get Terror Signs:
Posters warning people what to do in a bomb attack are to be put in shopping centres and airports, it was revealed yesterday.How best to act in case of a nuclear attack? The Brown government could have saved a lot of pounds by just reprinting that old poster from the 60s and 70s: "In case of nuclear attack, put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye.
Senior security sources want the signs where they think terrorists might strike. The "target sites" also include sports stadiums.
They would be similar to the fire procedure notices seen in most public buildings telling people what to do in a blaze.
But instead they would advise people how best to act if there was a bomb - or chemical, biological or nuclear attacks.
But government bureaucrats are serious about protecting the country agsinst terror. How? By giving the potential bomb victims a list of instructions?
The emergency notices will have a list of instructions.Be vigilant and report anything suspicious. Good advice it would appear.
These include to stay inside if a blast goes off outside a building, in case there is a second bomb in the area, and to stay away from windows, lifts and outer doors to avoid more blasts.
The chemical, biological and radiological attack posters warn people about the dangers of contamination and how to avoid spreading it.
They will also remind people the best defence against terrorism is vigilance and urge everyone to report anything suspicious.
But not too suspicious. The government is always on guard against potential backlash against Muslims. This occurs every time a British Muslim is caught with plans, bombs or both.
The signs the British people notice far more are those they see of increasing lawlessness and chaos They are warned against paying too close attention. Another name for the terror sign program may be familiar: CYA.
The government hopes the terror signs on buildings will make people feel safer.
Average Brits may disagree: last year nearly 400,000 fled England for safer, saner climes. The ones who left get their chance to start over in places where more common sense about terror prevails.
The ones left behind get terror signs.
Death by 1000 Papercuts Front Page.