Sports Headlines: World Series, NFL, College Football, NHL

Sports - October 23, 2008






WORLD SERIES: Stifling Phillies, Rays even World Series


COLLEGE FOOTBALL: WVU scores 31 straight to beat Auburn


NFL:

* Why you should watch the NFL in London

* Favre Should Have Quit While He Was Ahead


NHL: Crosby, Pens score four in third to shock 'Canes

DBKP Sports Headlines for October 23, 2008

Fark Watch: Top Recent Farked Headlines

The best headlines [and their tags], seen recently at Fark.com:

* Qantas pilot accidentally says the secret code word for hijacking. Everyone else in Peewee's Playhouse screams and jumps around [Dumbass]

* Italian woman found murdered in Turkey after trying to hitch-hike to the Middle East to promote peace. "I want to show that I can put my trust in local people" [Ironic]

* No surprise: Our "favored nation" trading partner China has been spying on us for years. The surprise is how they've been doing it. Hint: you might want to close that Word doc before reading this [Scary]

* Seventy-nine percent say cheating on taxes is wrong. The other twenty-one percent laugh as they walk into their executive boardrooms and Congressional offices [Interesting]

* If you rob a restaurant twice in a row, make sure the local news station isn't there when you try for a third time (video news story) [Dumbass]

* Postal official defends $13,500 steak dinner [Florida]

* Man arrested for selling 14,030 fake Viagra tablets on the Internet, asks judge to go soft on him but gets two years hard time [Dumbass]

* NYPD rookies may be underpaid, but nevertheless, robbing a bank is not an approved moonlighting gig [Strange]

* Gas station attendant sets .35 cent gas price accidently at 9:00 A.M. , doesn't notice mistake until 6:00 P.M [Dumbass]

* The Clinton campaign fires someone for NOT lying about something [Amusing]

* Taxpayer-funded Islamic charter school in Minnesota finally flies the American flag, which is required of public schools. Director claims he didn't do it for five years before because he couldn't work the rope [Followup]

[DISCLAIMER: "Best" is a subjective term and in the eye of the beholder.]

compiled by Mondoreb
image: fark
Source: fark.com


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Headlines in 2029

Welcome To the Future, Baby!


France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica; No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!


Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.


IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.


Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.



Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.


DEA Agents Conduct Biggest Caffeine Bust at Maxwell House; CEO Perp Walked Under Watchful Eyes of S.W.A.T. Team


Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.


Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.


Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.


Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.


George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.


85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.



Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.



Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.


Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Florexico.



Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.


Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States .


Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.


New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030


Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California . White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.


Florcubeurico voters still having trouble with voting machines.

by RidesAPaleHorse
[images:freakygaming;ibd;sfgate;]



Death by 1000 Papercuts Front Page.

25 Funny Headlines:

1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say

3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case

5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

6. Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?

7. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

8. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

9. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

10. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

11. Bush Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead

12. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

13. Miners Refuse to Work After Death

14. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

15. Stolen Painting Found by Tree

16. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter

17. War Dims Hope for Peace

18. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

19. Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

20. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

21. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

22. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space

23. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

25. Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Some chuckles a day...

[graphic & headlines supplied by:RidesAPaleHorse]



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