UN Says Los Angeles is Violating International Drug Treaties

The U.N. is declaring Los Angeles in violation of UN treaties.

If there is any further proof needed that the extranational, unelected bureaucrats at the United Nations would like to extend their power over the United States, look no further than this story.

Last week, we detailed the opening of vending machines in LA dispensing marijuana. (Marijuana Vending Machines Debut in California)

The vending machines in Los Angeles violate international treaties and should be shut down, the U.N.-affiliated drug control board said Friday.

"The International Narcotics Control Board is deeply concerned about reports that computerized vending machines to dispense cannabis (marijuana) have been put into operation in Los Angeles," Philip O. Emafo, president of the board, said in a statement.

Will pot smokers be burning UN flags in LA?

They might, provided they can muster the energy to do so.

At least three Los Angeles medical marijuana dispensaries have installed vending machines to distribute the drug to people who carry cards authorizing marijuana use. The drug is said to alleviate chronic pain, loss of appetite and other ailments.

Supporters say the machines, which dispense 1/8th or 2/8th of an ounce of marijuana at a time, offers users lower drug prices and increases security.

In a modern-day clash of our federal system, marijuana use is illegal under U.S. federal law, which does not recognize the medical marijuana laws in California and 11 other states.

And now the UN wants to get involved?

The international busybody--which seats terror-sponsoring nations on its anti-terror board, sponsors conferences (i.e., vacations) for such media-shilled "problems" like climate change and has diverted more American tax dollars into the private bank accounts of corrupt officials than any old-style big-city political machine every could accomplish--ought to stick to what it does best: endlessly issuing statements warning countries about the United States and Israel.

And bungling everything its massive bureaucracy touches.

"Kiss My Ass and Pass the Oreos".

Translate that.

[hat tip: Brock Lorber, Freedom Phoenix]
by Mondoreb
image: mrmat
Source: UN board says Marijuana Machines Illegal



Death by 1000 Papercuts Front Page.

Marijuana Vending Machines Debut in California

"Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson



It may not be a better mousetrap, but there's a feeling that at least some people will be beating a path to the new marijuana vending machines that open today in California.

The first of their kind in the U.S.A--one speculates the world--the machines will dispense medicinal marijuana for patients who are prescribed marijuana for health reasons.

Patients have to jump through a few hoops before they can use the machines: they have to present a prescription, be photographed and be fingerprinted and then they are issued a pre-paid credit card that stores the dosage and type of drug prescribed.

Only in the U.S.

Only in California.

No, the machines can't be used by the paperboy down the street to get ready for a "party hard" weekend--unless the paperboy has been prescribed the drug for health reasons.

At present, eleven states allow the medicinal use of marijuana, primarily for pain relief, but, in the land of the drug crusaders, it remains controversial. Although, one wonders why giving relief to, in some cases, terminally ill patients would cause anyone but drug warriors any cause for concern.

Vince Mehdizadeh, owner of the Herbal Nutrition Centre in Los Angeles, where one of the two first machines is based, said it would allow patients to buy extra supplies whenever needed.

America is the land of consumer satisfaction and fast food--so it makes sense that it is also the land of the marijuana vending machine.

"They'll be greeted by a security guard right there. They'll slide the card in and they'll fingerprint in to verify that it's them," Mehdizadeh was quoted as saying.

"A camera takes a picture of them, verifying that they're actually at the machine. And they get the medicine and they move on."

At least some of the operators think that the machines might become a common sight in across the U.S.A.

Proponents say marijauna is a valuable tool for relieving pain and stimulating appetite in the sick.

What we're wondering is will the operators take the next logical step?

And dispense Oreos and Gummy Bears along with the pot.

by Mondoreb
images: boingboing; weedtalk
Sources:
* Marijuana Vending Machines in U.S.
* Marijuana vending machines open today in California
* Video: ebaum'sworld



Death by 1000 Papercuts Front Page.

Bill Maher's Melting Ice Cap Costume: Help Out, Go Undercover

Salon gives space to Bill Maher to flesh out things that go bump in the night, as he twists up a little something to help take the edge off the fear.

Bill Maher scares his reader at Salon:

What's really scary this Halloween is that the same group of idea-free losers who won the last presidential election could win the next one by making us afraid of the wrong things. Which is why this year for Halloween, I'm going as something truly horrifying: a melting polar ice cap.

This week -- as every week -- all the Republican candidates talked about was who was toughest in the war on terror. While the country's most populous state literally burned. The Democrats, as usual, said nothing, because they didn't want to offend fire.

The Republicans, including the scaremonger in chief, sell themselves as protectors of our safety. But since they're all, except for McCain, armchair warriors, they're only comfortable protecting us from fears they made up. Like the way Iran is itching for a war with the United States now. Ahmadinejad is pure evil! Terror has a new name, and it's nearly unpronounceable.

Comedy, much like magic, is the art of misdirection. Giving your audience something they're not expecting is the key. After a promising headline, the rest of the piece is vintage Maher ; i.e., we've heard it all before, so it's neither surprising nor chuckle-inducing. Unless one is in the throes of an ether binge, ala Hunter Thompson.

Al Gore and his tales of melting ice caps scare Bill Maher; terrorists don't. Sounds like Bill's a perfect candidate for Kandahar. There, Maher could fight the terrorists he doesn't fear, even go undercover. Perhaps he could use his scary melting ice cap costume.

by Mondoreb
[image:priceclash]



Back to Front Page.

Perfect Google Story 2: Frijole Jihad Members Target U.S

by Little Baby Ginn

The Border Patrol issued a warning today to be on the lookout for a new type of IED, the Exploding Burrito. “It’s being used as a car bomb by a group known as the Mexican Taliban,” said one agent who spoke “off the record.” “The Mexican Taliban issued a “Jihad” here in the United States against fast food Mexican style.

“The Exploding Burrito is being used in this jihad as a new terrorist weapon,” said another anonymous source. “It’s a form of home grown terrorism, a.k.a., the pinto bean.”

Another source, a man who is a member of the Frijole Jihad spoke to us behind Rosa’s Cantina. “Just because I like Tom Cruise doesn’t mean I’m a homosexual,” he said behind his dark glasses. “I have a crush on Kate Moss and Britney Spears. I’ve been a member of the Mexican Taliban since I was fifteen.” He took a sip from a bottle of Hornitos Tequila. “You must excuse me, I just broke off a love relationship.” He lit up a marijuana cigarette. “The Mexican Taliban is upset over the fake food being served up as “authentic Mexican.” “You see these,” he said as he held out a hand full of pills. “These are Viagra, you can get them a lot cheaper on my side of the border. I’m also a fan of David Beckham but not that skinny woman he’s married to. I’m against the war in Iraq and if I had a new carburetor for my 82 Olds I’d find a way to go to the next IAEA Summit because I care about the world, man.”

He took a long drag off the marijuana cigarette. “America destroyed Hitler and the Nazis but America is no match for the Mexican Taliban and our weapons of Mass Destruction. That’s unless we run out of pinto beans.”

The Perfect Google Search Story Contest
[Another DBKP Shameless Attempt to use all of the Top Google Search terms in one story: love, botox, burrito, hang-over, Tom Cruise, marijuana, car bomb. Think you can you do better? Make an attempt to construct The Perfect Google Search story. Send your entry to: Mondoreb@gmail.com. Prizes, if any, announced along with the winner when we feel like it or until we get deluged with entries. Mark subject line of email "Perfect Google Search story".]



Back to Front Page.

Perfect Google Search Story: Tom Cruise's Hang-over From Marijuana Burritos

Tom Cruise on Oprah:
Hung-over or on marijuana-laced burritos?
by Mondoreb & Little Baby Ginn

The legions of botox-injected Tom Cruise lovers might want to take another look at the Mission: Impossible star. Rumors have circulated that during a past appearance on Oprah, he was either hung-over or under the influence of marijuana-laced burritos.

When contacted about the hang-over rumors, a Cruise spokesman said, "I love Tom Cruise. I just love him. But he isn't available for a statement. He's in Iraq, trying to do something about the car bomb problem over there."

What's up with all this?

A story from the New York Post revealed the top Google Search terms.

-- Internet users in the U.S. frequently use search words that might make for a wild Saturday night but an uncomfortable morning, according to statistics provided by Google Inc.

"Hangover,""Burrito," and "Marijuana" are among the frequent words that Google processes for Americans. Also at the top: "Iraq," "Tom Cruise," "Love," "Botox" and "Car bomb."

This is Death by 1000 Papercuts' shameless attempt to write the perfect Google Search story. One that will show up in millions of future searches.

NOW: after all that, I feel like a have a hang-over. I need break. Think I'll go have some of those marijuana burritos.



Back to Front Page.