Late Night Comics: Rate the Jokes, November 28 2008

Rating the Late Night Comics
On Balance in Political Jokes
November 19, 2008



Rate the Late Night Comics' jokes.

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The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

Barack Obama’s people are trying to lower expectations. Everyone thinks he’s going to be able to fix everything. If they want to lower expectations, they should keep some of those Bush people on.

A political organization has filmed a new TV ad thanking Sarah Palin for all she did for the campaign. The organization is called the Democratic Party.

The executives of the Big Three automakers have said that they will now carpool to Washington next year instead of flying in on private jets. To make sure there won’t be any problems, they will drive a Toyota.

The economy is so bad, the White House turkey turned down the pardon. He says he lost all his money in the stock market and has nothing left to live for.

Rating: Even

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Signs President Bush Doesn't Care Anymore

10. Hasn't taken off his Iron Man costume since Halloween
9. The menu for the White House Thanksgiving dinner? Corn dogs and Beefaroni
8. Drew a picture of Garfield on Dick Cheney's bald head
7. He's barely trying to ruin the economy anymore
6. Spent the entire weekend in the Oval Office pardoning himself
5. Saw Osama at Arby's drive-thru but didn't feel like chasing him
4. Spends Cabinet meetings scanning classifieds for next job
3. Primary focus is surpassing Hank Paulson's high score on "Guitar Hero"
2. Asking Obama, "How soon can you bail me out of the White House?"
1. Started dating hefty interns

RATING: -3

Late Show with David Letterman

They have a new balloon at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade: the John McCain balloon — it never gets off the ground.

A mailman was arrested for not delivering junk mail. Still no word on bin Laden.

Obama got $800 billion to rescue the economy. All I can say is, Thank you, Oprah.

During the transition, President Bush is busy granting pardons. Today he pardoned Sarah Palin for her interview with Katie Couric.

RATING: -2

Late Night with Conan O'Brien

In a speech this morning, Barack Obama said, “This isn’t about big government or small government. It’s about building a smarter government.” When he heard this, President Bush said, “I get it, I get it. I’m leaving.”

Earlier today, John McCain gave his first press conference since the election, and he said that for a lot of people, Sarah Palin was an energizing factor during the campaign. Unfortunately for McCain those people are called Democrats.

A new study has found that the Ford Motor Company makes the cars with the highest safety ratings. Apparently Ford cars are so safe because they never leave the dealer’s lot.

RATING: Even

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Sarah Palin is back on the campaign trail. She’s going to go to the Senate runoff election down in Georgia. As soon as she finds out where Georgia is, she’s going right down there . . .

Somali pirates have captured another ship. Interestingly, al-Qaida has declared war on the pirates — it’s like evil versus evil. It’s like Dick Cheney versus his lawyer.

The pirates have gone high-tech. They even have MySpace pages. Current mood? “Looking for booty.”

Rating: -1

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

I had $350,000 riding on Lance Bass to win “Dancing With the Stars.” Now I have to sell my house. Unless Lance comes up with the money he owes me.

For many voters, dancing wasn’t so important. The undecided factor was the economy.

Barack Obama’s wife Oprah Winfrey has her “Favorite Things” show this week. She’s featuring affordable things this year . . . thumbtacks.

Rating: Even

Compiled by KimeCools
image: dbkp file

Late Night Comics: Rate the Jokes -November 19 2008

Rating the Late Night Comics
On Balance in Political Jokes
November 19, 2008



Rate the Late Night Comics' jokes.

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The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

It’s reported that Barack Obama’s new attorney general is going to be Eric Holder. Here is what we know about him: His name is Eric Holder.

It’s being reported that Hillary Clinton will accept the position of secretary of state. Actually this works out great for the Clintons. While Hillary is concentrating on foreign affairs, Bill can get back to concentrating on domestic affairs.

Barack Obama says one of his top priorities once he becomes president is closing down Guantanamo Bay. And to make sure it closes, he’s going to turn it into a bank.

According to the New York Post, Sarah Palin may appear on the season finale of “Desperate Housewives.” In a related story, John McCain just got a big Flomax commercial.

RATING: +4

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Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Things Overheard During Obama'a Meeting With McCain

10. "Oh, just preparing to be president. What have you been up to?"
9. "I know a guy who would be a perfect secretary of plumbing"
8. "What is the deal with that Alaskan babe?"
7. "Let's wrap this up; Wheel of Fortune's on"
6. "Seriously, what was the deal with that Alaskan babe?"
5. "Actually, it's now the 'Straight Talk Express and Girls Gone Wild' bus"
4. "Uh John, this isn't another debate"
3. "Where's the soup? Someone said there'd be soup!"
2. "I know I'm trailing by 192 electoral votes two weeks after the election, but I've got you right where I want you!"
1. "Maybe you'd be president-elect if you hadn't crossed Letterman"

RATING: Even

Late Show with David Letterman

Cold in New York City. So cold, today Sarah Palin spent $150,000 on mittens.

Sarah Palin has landed a $7 million book deal. She got it through a guy named Joe the publisher.

When she was asked about writing a book, she said, “You bethcha! As long as I don’t have to read it.”

Wow — $7 million. Maybe now she can buy her own clothing.

RATING -4

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Late Night with Conan O'Brien

Yesterday in Chicago, President-elect Obama met with former political rival John McCain. Both men said it was a relief to put their differences aside, sit down, and really make fun of Sarah Palin.

Yesterday, President Bush awarded a National Medal of the Arts to Stan Lee, the comic book artist who created “Spider-Man.” Afterwards, Bush said it was the first thing he’s done as president that “felt right.”

Political experts say Hillary Clinton may not be given the position secretary of state because of Bill Clinton’s activities. When he heard this, Bill said, “It’s only fair — she denies me positions all the time.”

RATING: Even

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Happy birthday to the Alaska senator, and convicted felon, Ted Stevens. Today he turns 85 to life.

Everyone wants to know Barack Obama’s plans for the White house. They already know his economic plan to help small businesses that make under $250,000 a year — like General Motors.

Michael Jackson is in trouble again. He is supposed to testify in a lawsuit, but his lawyer says he’s too sick to travel. He can only travel in an emergency — like a Jonas Brothers concert.

RATING: +1

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Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Raging fires in California. So far, 32,000 acres have burned. It seems ironic that the flamingest state in the Union voted against gay marriage.

It looks like Hillary Clinton might be Barack Obama’s secretary of state. She went from almost being president to a secretary.

Sounds like somebody needs to watch “Working Girl” — that’s not how it’s supposed to work.

The secretary of state travels all over the world meeting with foreign leaders sometimes spending months away from his or her husband. But that’s just the sacrifice Bill is willing to make.

RATING: Even

by Mondo
image: dbkp file

Pure Energy: Caffeine Levels of Energy Drinks, Coffee, Sodas

Popular Beverages, Energy Drinks:
Caffeine Levels of Popular Drinks
More Bang for Your Buck
The Top Ten

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How Much Energy do you REALLY Get from All those Energy Drinks?


With the elections coming up, many political junkies may pull an all-nighter on Election Night 2008. What's a body to do when it needs a pick-me-up?

Many will put on another pot of coffee. Some will turn to colas. Still others will slurp down one of the many popular energy drinks. What's the best for pep?

Let's take a look. But first, just how do energy drinks work? From How do energy drinks work?:

Energy drinks are supposed to do just what the name implies -- give you an extra burst of energy. As it turns out, most of that "energy" comes from two main ingredients: sugar and caffeine. A typical energy drink can contain up to 80 milligrams of caffeine (about the same amount as a cup of coffee). By comparison, a 2006 study found that the average 12-ounce soda contains 18 to 48 mg of caffeine.

What's in energy drinks? An ever-expanding list of exotic ingredients is featured on the containers of energy-promising drinks. Just what is all that stuff?

Here are some of the ingredients you may find in popular energy drinks and what they do in the body:

* Ephedrine - A stimulant that works on the central nervous system. It is a common ingredient in weight-loss products and decongestants, but there have been concerns about its effects on the heart.
* Taurine - A natural amino acid produced by the body that helps regulate heart beat and muscle contractions. Many health experts aren't sure what effect it has as a drink additive (and the rumor that taurine comes from bull testicles is false).
* Ginseng - A root believed by some to have several medicinal properties, including reducing stress and boosting energy levels.
* B-vitamins - A group of vitamins that can convert sugar to energy and improve muscle tone.
* Guarana seed - A stimulant that comes from a small shrub native to Venezuela and Brazil.
* Carnitine - An amino acid that plays a role in fatty acid metabolism.
* Creatine - An organic acid that helps supply energy for muscle contractions.
* Inositol - A member of the vitamin B complex (not a vitamin itself, because the human body can synthesize it) that helps relay messages within cells in the body.
* Ginkgo biloba - Made from the seeds of the ginkgo biloba tree, thought to enhance memory.

So what's the best bang for your buck?

Caffeine content of popular drinks Just how much kick is your drink giving you? How much is hype? CAFFEINE LEVELS of POPULAR DRINKS TOP TEN - By the can: Fixx - 500 mg Boo-Koo Energy - 360 mg Spike Shotgun - 350 mg Wired X344 - 344 mg. Redline Power Rush - 340 mg Starbucks Grande Coffee - 330 mg SPIKE Shooter - 300 mg Viso Energy Vigor - 300 mg Cocaine Energy Drink - 280 mg Starbucks Tall Coffee - 260 mg TOP TEN - By the mg of caffeine/oz Ammo - 171.00 Redline Power Rush - 140.00 Mana Energy Potion - 118.52 Extreme Energy 6-Hour Shot - 110.00 Jolt Endurance Shot - 100.00 CHARGE! Super Shot - 100.00 Powershot - 100.00 Stok Black Coffee Shots - 90.91 Fuel Cell - 90.00 Upshot - 80.00 OTHER POPULAR DRINKS - mg/oz Coffee (Espresso) - 51.33 Starbucks Tall Coffee - 21.67 Coffee (Drip) - 18.12 Coffee (Brewed) - 13.44 AriZona Green Tea Energy - 12.50 Rock Star - 10.00 Tim Hortons Large Coffee - 10.00 Red Bull - 9.64 SoBe Adrenaline Rush - 9.52 Jolt Cola - 9.36 McDonald's Large Coffee - 9.06 Amp - 8.93 Mountain Dew - 4.58 RC Cola - 3.77 Dr Pepper - 3.42 Slim-Fast Cappuccino Delight Shake - 3.33 Pepsi-Cola - 3.17 Coca-Cola Classic - 2.88 Hot Cocoa - 0.62 7-Up - 0.00

[For a complete listing of caffeine content of practically every energy drink on the market, see Caffeine Content of Drinks]

Legally, caffeine and sugar are the old stand-bys.

For those readers who want their caffeine in a sweet package, the average chocolate bar contains 30 mg of caffeine. Five Hershey bars equal the same caffeine kick as an average cup of coffee.

That's a wrap on caffeine, energy and energy drinks.

Now, it's time to put on that second pot of coffee.


by Mondo Frazier
images:
* how stuff works
* product wiki
* foodmall

Late Night Comics: Rate the Jokes - September 24, 2008

Rate the Late Night Comics' jokes.



The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

John McCain wants to postpone Friday’s presidential debate. And, he has temporarily suspended his campaign . . . until he’s ahead in the polls.

Right after he announced that, Sarah Palin said, “That’s OK — I don’t really need him, anyway.”

Today, Barack Obama told Joe Biden to be less like Sarah Palin: “Stop talking to the press!”

Yesterday at the U.N., Mahmoud I’m-a-nutjob blamed the United States for the collapse of the global markets. Well, that just goes to show you . . . in a crisis, you really find out who your friends are.


Rating: +1



Late Show with David Letterman

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Questions People Are Asking the John McCain Campaign

10. "I just contributed to your campaign — how do I get a refund?"
9. "It's Sarah Palin — does this mean I'm pars'dent?"
8. "Can't you solve this by selling some of your homes?"
7. "Hi, this is Clay Aiken. Is McCain single?"
6. "Do you still think the fundamentals of our economy are strong, genius?"
5. "Are you doing all this just to get out of going on Letterman?"
4. "What would Matlock do?"
3. "Hillary here — my schedule is free Friday night"
2. "Is this just an excuse to catch up on napping?"
1. "This is President Bush — what's all this trouble with the economy?"



John McCain had to cancel an appearance on the show because he is suspending his campaign because the economy is exploding.

You know John McCain, the running mate of Sarah Palin?

Nobody told his vice presidential running mate Sarah Palin — she’s still circling the theatre in a white minivan.

After canceling, he rushed right back to Washington to deal with the crisis. And I thought, "Woah — he sure nipped that in the bud."

Rating: -8


Late Night with Conan O'Brien

John McCain says he wants to postpone Friday's debate. Not because of the economic crisis, but because TVLand is running a "Golden Girls" marathon.

Yesterday, President Bush gave a speech on the economic crisis. The title of Bush's speech: "Two More Months and It Ain't My Problem."

During his speech, Bush said, "We are in a once in a century crisis." He said we shouldn't worry though, because this once in a century crisis shouldn't happen again for 10-15 years.

Sarah Palin is in New York City this week. Her family took the ferry to the Statue of Liberty. When she saw the ferry, she said, "Can't we build a bridge to that thing?"

Rating: -1

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

John McCain has suspended his presidential campaign. He also wanted to cancel Friday’s debate with Barack Obama because of the financial crisis. Obama said, “Well, I’ll have the debate anyway. It will be easier without McCain there.”

He also canceled an interview with David Letterman, but then he did an interview with Katie Couric at the same time he was supposed to be on Letterman. He said that he was in a rush to get back to Washington, but apparently he had time for a game of softball with Katie before he left.

If you cross David Letterman, you cross me. If you cross me, you cross David Letterman. You may have to explain to Letterman who I am, but . . .

You can't just suspend a democratic process because we are facing problems. At what point do you then think that maybe you should suspend the election? People have done that before . . . Castro . . . Napolean . . .


Rating: -2



Jimmy Kimmel Live!

John McCain is putting his campaign on hold to focus on the economy. He wants to postpone his debate with Barack Obama on Friday. Seems like the old “my grandmother died” before the exam excuse.

When you have 11 houses, you take a housing crisis very, very seriously.

McCain asked Obama to stop campaigning and stop campaign ads. Obama said no, but they have agreed to put out a joint statement. They just released it about an hour ago: It’s All Bush’s Fault!

Bush has an interesting way to fix the economy: a bake sale.

Rating: -2


by Mondoreb
image: dbkp file

Late Night Comics: Rate the Jokes - September 23, 2008

Rating the Late Night Comics
On Balance in Political Jokes
September 23, 2008




The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

More bad news today, from President Bush: Remember those rebate checks from a few months ago? He wants them back.

Barack Obama said today that the $700 billion bailout should not be a blank check. He said that $700 billion is a lot of money. In fact, it would take him at least 10 Hollywood fundraisers to come up with that kind of money.

At a rally in Florida, Barack Obama was interrupted by a protest group called “Blacks Against Obama.” Actually it was a pretty small group — just Condoleezza Rice and Jesse Jackson.

Sarah Palin was in New York meeting foreign leaders at the U.N. Assembly. She was very impressed with all the landmarks in New York City. As she was driving over the Hudson River, she said, “Wow — your bridges actually go somewhere.”

Rating: +2


Late Show with David Letterman

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten George W. Bush Ideas For Fixing The Economy

10. Why fix it if it ain't broke?
9. Drill Arctic National Wildlife Refuge for loose change
8. Sell cupcakes in front of the White House
7. Flip all them charts upside down
6. Encourage Americans to spend more — If they don't, Cheney peppers them in the face
5. Most things seem better after half a bottle of Jim Beam
4. Let's just say the Lincoln Memorial is now the Tostitos Lincoln Memorial
3. Invent a car that runs on root beer
2. Put on a pair of glasses and shoot a moose
1. Is Hillary still available for a 3 a.m. phone call?



Earlier today, President Bush addressed the U.N. Assembly. Apparently, his father couldn’t get him out of it.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad also addressed the Assembly. He was completely humorless. Devoid of humor. So they’ve asked him to host next year’s Emmys.

All these world leaders, while they are in New York City attending the General Assembly, are doing some shopping. The Japanese premier, for example, got a great deal on Morgan Stanley.

Sarah Palin is also in town. She’s having a great time in New York City. Today, for instance, she shot and mounted that thing on Donald Trump’s head.


Rating: -1



Late Night with Conan O'Brien

The first presidential debate is this Friday. Strategists say Barack Obama is going to try to get John McCain to lose his temper. He’s going to do this by repeating the phrase, “Matlock is gay.”

Sarah Palin was at the United Nations today. She met with foreign leaders to show her foreign policy expertise. Experts say the meeting took 90 seconds.

Yesterday, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad challenged John McCain to a debate. McCain says that if he wanted to be attacked by extremists in a hostile environment he’d appear on MSNBC.

McCain said that illegal Irish immigrants in America should be allowed to become citizens. When asked why, he said, “My wife’s family owns Budweiser. It would be good for business.”


Rating: -1



The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Clay Aiken announced in People magazine that he’s gay. He’s Clay; he’s gay; he’s here to stay.

Also in People magazine, John McCain announced he’s old, and Barack Obama announced he’s black.

Google is releasing a new phone. It’s called the G1. John McCain was very excited when he heard about it. When he heard G1, he said “Bingo!”

Rating: Even


Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Clay Aiken is on the cover of People magazine announcing that he’s gay. This on the heels of last week’s People shocking cover: Ruben Studdard announced he’s black.

First, “Sex & the City” comes out on DVD, now this.

President Bush made a farewell speech in front of the U.N. General assembly. I thought he spoke quite powerfully today, especially at the end of his speech when he said, “Could we borrow some money?”

Rating: Even

Do any readers have a different rating than these we've provided? Were they funny? Were they balanced? Does it matter?

We're sure you'll let us know.

READERS RATE: Yesterday, Joshua said, "Letterman’s a loser. The “bring your daughter to work day” joke had some merit. But, the rest of the jokes were weak, obvious and completely unfunny." Jason suggested, "Might as well add in the Daily Show with Jon Stewart and the Colbert Report for the next edition of Late Night ComicsL Rate the Jokes." We're working on obtaining a daily transcript of the Daily Show.

by Mondo
image: dbkp file

Late Night Comics: Rate the Political Jokes - Sept 22

Rating the Late Night Comics
On Balance in Political Jokes
September 22, 2008



Late night comics jokes: are they "fair and balanced"?

Who cares, right?

It gives us an excuse to put up some jokes under the guise of "research".

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

● They had the Emmys last night. There were more stars there than at a Barack Obama fundraiser.

● The miniseries “John Adams” set an Emmy record last night — 13 wins. So a guy from the 1700s is still winning today. That’s good news for John McCain.

● The financial crisis is getting worse. A bailout is in the works. Today, Congress declared, “The days of getting money just for the asking, are over.” Then, they asked for $700 billion.

● Bill Clinton was on “The View” yesterday. It was a frustrating appearance for Clinton — it turns out the pretty one is a conservative.

Rating: Even

Late Show with David Letterman

● During the Emmys last night, John McCain asked, “‘Gunsmoke’ win anything?”

● Autumn arrived on schedule . . . at least there’s one thing Bush hasn’t screwed up.

● John McCain was introducing Sarah Palin to world leaders at the U.N. Assembly yesterday. It was nice — it looked like “Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.”

● We’re learning more about John McCain — he has 13 cars. And he can’t remember where he parked any of them.

Rating: -3

Late Night with Conan O'Brien

● The past several days, President Bush has been speaking out about the Wall Street bailout, and today a reporter asked him what he planned to do about AIG. Bush got upset and said, "Why does everyone always spell in front of me?"

● Yesterday at a big campaign rally, Sarah Palin drew a crowd of 60,000 people. After hearing about it, Joe Biden got new glasses and a boob job.

● California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger recently said that in the 1970s he smoked marijuana. Apparently, Arnold got so stoned that you could understand every word he was saying.

● Cuba says Russia is going to help them develop a space program. And then they're going to help Cuba develop a radio.

Rating: Even

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

● Last night were the Emmys on ABC. Best drama went to the Greenbay Packers, I think.

● The big award was for the best actor in a presidential campaign. It went to John McCain. [Video of John McCain saying Sarah Palin is absolutely ready to be president.]

● This is interesting: According to vehicle registration records, John and Cindy McCain own 13 cars, and Barack and Michelle Obama only own one. The McCains have 13 — which, to be fair, is only one for each house.

● The have a Cadillac GTS, a Lexus, 10 rascal scooters, and a hearse.

Rating: -3

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

No political jokes last night.

Rating: Even



compiled by Mondo
image: dbkp
Source: Late Night Jokes

Sarah Palin, GOP: Back in the RIng, Fighting Back

Culture Watch vol. 31
Nancy Morgan
Right Bias.com




The GOP has roared back to life with McCain's nomination of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as his VP choice, with the GOP Convention the most watched convention in television history.

ELECTION '08:

Non-stop smears, internet rumors, editorials and commentary make Palin the new punching bag. Surprise - she's punching back, with a smile. Myths are being debunked, and smears are being answered. I expand on this in 'Liberal Meltdown.'

Media is experiencing backlash as over 51% of U.S. voters think the media is trying to harm Sarah Palin. Ya think? Hundreds of angry people in a small town outside Milwaukee taunted reporters and TV crews traveling with Sen. John McCain on Friday, chanting "Be fair!"

Meanwhile, polls show Palin is more popular than both McCain and Obama. Obama can take heart, though. They love him in Iran. Iranian TV is lavishing praise on him, stating that his election "would improve the situation in America." Maybe for Iran.


Lost in the shuffle is new evidence that Obama was closely associated as early as age 25 to a key advisor to a Saudi billionaire who mentored the founding members of the Black Panthers. Hmmm... meanwhile, Obama has received his first intelligence briefing. Why does this worry me?

A whopping 71% of Obama supporters feel the Constitution shouldn't be upheld and VP nominee Biden stated that an Obama administration might just pursue criminal charges against Bush.

For anyone considering voting for Obama, just check out this video clip of him performing without a teleprompter. Truly frightening.

GOOD NEWS:

Exhibiting a firm grasp of the obvious, Obama finally admitted that the surge was successful.

The Commerce Department reports that productivity jumped 4.3%, a full percentage higher than economists expected. During August, the number of people identifying themselves as Republicans increased 2 percentage points to 33.2%.

Gen. David Petraeus said declining violence in Iraq has raised the possibility that American combat troops could start leaving by next summer. Can you spell 'Mission Accomplished?'

In other historic, overlooked news, Condoleeza Rice met with Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi of Libya, sealing the resumption of ties between the U.S. and a country we once branded as a terrorist outcast. Remember Libya? They're the ones that laid down their arms and started acting halfway civilized right after we went into Iraq. Could there be something to this 'peace through strength' stuff?

CULTURE:

The ACLU is continuing their ongoing fight against the Boy Scouts of America. Plans by the University of Chicago to establish a research institute named after free-market economist Milton Friedman are being met with a protest. 100 tenured faculty signed a petition opposing this privately funded tribute to one of the greatest intellectuals of our time. A classic case of being educated beyond ones' intelligence.

Vanity Fair has named Russian strongman Putin as their most influential and powerful person and a new Russian teaching manual claims that mass murderer Stalin acted 'entirely rationally' in executing and imprisoning millions of people. Also in Russia, for the first time in history, over 100 youngsters stand to inherit more than $1 billion from the country's burgeoning ranks of oligarch. Think Paris Hilton times 10. Those figures could change, as capital has been fleeing Russia ever since they invaded Georgia. So far, $19 billion has left the country.

A British couple is on trial in Dubai for having sex on a public beach. I guess they were under the illusion that all cultures are equal. Scientists have found what they call a 'monogamy gene.' Guess what Boy Clinton is getting for Xmas?

A Florida man was busted by police for violating an ordinance against low-slung pants. No cracks, please.

Jenny, the oldest gorilla in captivity dies in Dallas Zoo at age 55

Australia is in the grip of a 'man drought' where women increasingly outnumber men. An elephant at the Ueno Zoo in Tokyo managed to score 87% on a math test. That's better than most students in our government schools. Think about it.

An estimated 123 people were shot and killed in Chicago over the summer. That's nearly double the number of soldiers killed in Iraq during the same period.

Our military halted the Pakistan offensive for Ramadan and Chavez's Citgo will be granted 250,000 barrels of oil from our Strategic Petroleum Reserve because of Venezuela's inability to secure crude in the aftermath of Hurricane Gustav. Is the US a great country, or what!

IDIOT OF THE WEEK:

This week's winner is Michael Lasiter, 33. He tried to cut off his own arm in a Denny's restaurant in California after becoming convinced that he had injected an air bubble into his veins, along with the crack.

Honorable mention has to go to this Code Pink anarchist at the GOP convention. Check him out doing the taser dance.

ON THE LIGHT SIDE:

In order to keep you smiling, I include this cute video of Piper Palin giving brother Trig a spit bath.
In order to keep you energized, I include this video of an 11 year-old girl field stripping an AR-15 in 15-seconds flat. She sent the video to the cutest boy in 6th grade with a note asking "Do you like me?" Priceless.


Till next Monday, keep smiling,

by Nancy Morgan

RightBias.com
Top image: people get ready
Culture Watch may be reprinted ,with attribution to RightBias.com

DBKP Today in Weird History: February 29, 2008

WAR, DISASTER, REPORTS, QUICK-THINKING, MOVIES, VAVOOM, MUSIC, QUITTING, SCIENCE, RATINGS, POLITICS, KILLERS, UNUSUAL, BURNED, KINK, SPORTS, WHAT, RECORDS, BORN, BIRTHDAYS, DEATH

QUICK-THINKING

1504 Christopher Columbus, stranded in Jamaica during his fourth voyage to the West, used a correctly predicted lunar eclipse to frighten hostile natives into providing food for his crew.

You might be interested in reading: Leap Day: Facts, Figures, Birthdays and Famous Events

WAR!

1856 Hostilities in Russo-Turkish War cease.

1944 US troops land on Los Negros, Admirality Islands.

DISASTER

1960 Earthquake kills 1/3 of Agadir Morocco population (12,000) in 15 seconds.

1996 A Peruvian commercial jetliner crashed in the Andes, killing all 123 people on board.

UNUSUAL

1904 Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenberdorft Sr near Hamburg, Germany; had a Christian name for every letter in the alphabet, shortened it to Mr Wolfe Plus 585 Sr.

VAVOOM!

1960, the first Playboy Club, featuring waitresses clad in "bunny" outfits, opened in Chicago.

KINK

1784 Marquis de Sade transferred from Vincennes fortress to the Bastille.

RECORDS

1964 Frank Rugani sets badminton shuttlecock distance record, 24.3 meters.

WHAT?

1988 NYC Mayor Koch calls Reagan a "WIMP" in the war on drugs.

POLITICS

1956 Islamic Republic established in Pakistan.

2000 George W. Bush won Republican presidential primaries in Virginia, Washington state and North Dakota, defeating John McCain; Vice President Al Gore crushed fellow Democrat Bill Bradley in Washington state.

SPORTS

1964 North Carolina high school basketball teams play to 56-54 score in 13 overtime.

KILLERS

1996 Daniel Green was convicted in Lumberton, North Carolina, of murdering James R. Jordan, the father of basketball star Michael Jordan, during a 1993 roadside holdup. (Green and an accomplice, Larry Martin Demery, were sentenced to life in prison.)

2000 Six-year-old Kayla Rolland was fatally shot by a fellow first-grader at Buell Elementary School in Mount Morris Township, Michigan.

REPORTS

1968 President Lyndon B. Johnson's National Advisory Commission on Civil Disorders (also known as the Kerner Commission) warned that racism was causing America to move "toward two societies, one black, one white -- separate and unequal."

BURNED

1528 Patrick Hamilton Scottish protestant martyr, burned at stake.

MOVIES

1940 "Gone with the Wind" won eight Academy Awards, including best picture of 1939.

2000 "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" won a record-tying 11 Academy Awards, including best picture; Sean Penn took the best-actor prize for "Mystic River" and Charlize Theron won best actress for "Monster."

SCIENCE

1968 the discovery of the first "pulsar," a star which emits regular radio waves, was announced by Dr. Jocelyn Bell Burnell in Cambridge, England.

MUSIC

1968 at the Grammy Awards, the 5th Dimension's "Up, Up and Away" won record of the year for 1967, while album of the year honors went to The Beatles for "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band."

QUITTING

1984 Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau announced he was stepping down after more than 15 combined years in power.

2000 Facing rebellion, Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide resigned and left for exile in the Central African Republic.

RATINGS

1996 About 30 television and entertainment industry executives met with President Clinton at the White House, where they promised to devise a TV ratings system.

BORN

1908 The artist known as Balthus was born in Paris.

1936 Henri "Rocket" Richard NHL center (Montréal Canadiens).

1944 Dennis Farina Chicago IL, actor (Mike Torello-Crime Story).

BIRTHDAYS

Actress Michele Morgan is 88. Actor James Mitchell is 88. Actor Joss Ackland is 80. Actor Alex Rocco is 72. Former space shuttle astronaut Jack Lousma is 72. Actor Dennis Farina is 64. Actress Phyllis Frelich is 64. Actor Antonio Sabato Jr. is 36. Rapper Ja Rule is 32.

DEATH

1992 Johnny Mack British actor (Time Lord-Dr Who), dies at 70.

2000 Playwright Jerome Lawrence died in Malibu, California, at age 88.

February 29th, the 60th day of 2008. There are 306 days left in the year. This is Leap Day.

compiled by Mondoreb
image: eaae
Sources:
* Today in History

* Today in History
* Today in History



DBKP.com - Bigger, Better!.
Death by 1000 Papercuts Front Page.

NBC Generates 'Schlock and Awww'

30 Rockefeller Plaza--headquarters of NBC-- was the scene of shlock and "Awww!" earlier this month.

NBC's schlock--the network initially refused to air a "Salute to the Troops"--and a collective "Awwww" by NBC when it was realized a sizable portion of their audience and others were shocked and upset at their decision.

NBC's initial refusal to air Freedom Watch's 'Salute to the Troops' only highlighted the perception problems surrounding the network known in some quarters as "Nothing But Crap".

NBC quietly announced this week that it was refunding an average of $500,000 per advertiser for failing to hit minimum ratings in their contracts. The unprecedented move, along with MSNBC's perennial basement-dwelling status in both the ratings and the evening TV watching habits of Americans, has generated some other calls--for NBC parent, General Electric, to either fix the low performing network or dump it.

NBC earlier had announced that it had reconsidered airing the MAF tribute.

The cartoon above, Red Planet Cartoons' "NBC Strikes Again", graphically illustrates some reasons why NBC has alienated large segments of the once-robust network's viewers.

Red Planet has gathered some interesting information on the NBC lawyer who refused the FW spot.

The NBC lawyer who refused to allow a non-profit group to air an advertisement thanking American troops for their service has donated at least $45,000 to a host of Congressional Democrats, including House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, New York Senator Hillary Clinton and the campaign committees of House and Senate Democrats, research by the Majority Accountability Project has found.

Red Planet also has an amusing quote from NBC's Brian Williams, as well as featuring "The Worst Liberal Bumper Stickers".

Get the whole package at RP's "NBC Strikes Again".

"Nothing But Crap" is what viewers, advertisers and, perhaps soon, stockholders believe.

by Mondoreb
[image:redplanetcartoons]




Death by 1000 Papercuts Front Page.